I am Grateful Anyway

In my profile, I mention that having had breast cancer changed my life in "so many ways." Every time I read that, it jumps out at me that I want to write specifically about the ways it has changed my life.

These are some of the ways the breast cancer has changed my life: I am now scared to death of mammograms-not because of what they may find, but because of the pain of being squeezed so tightly. Both of my breasts are still very sensitive to pressure. I will not be able to under go another mammogram awake.

I no longer can maintain the innocence (denial) of "those bad things don't happen to me." They do and they will and we can live through them.

I no longer take for granted having two nipples. I know that's kind of funny/odd, but it's true. I'm going to get some nipple petals from J.C.Penney's--they have them there, you know. Check out my friend's blog, domesticirritation.com, Not my husband's Favorite Flowers, then click here for information about where to buy the Fashion Forms.. That way, I won't look like my breasts have one eye closed when I'm wearing these "breast petals." Really, that's what they are called.

I am grateful that my friend called me for support a couple of days ago after her MD told her she needed a Mamo-test, which is what I had instead of a needle biopsy. The Mamo-test is done when the cancer tumor is so small the can't just aim at it with a needle. The Mamo-test has a needle about the size of a #6 knitting needle with a tiny camera on the end of it and they go into one's breast and look around for the cancer cells.

Actually, the procedure itself not painful, thank heaven, it's just damned uncomfortable and you keep waiting for it to be painful so you stay tense for the whole procedure which can take from 45 minutes to 2 hours.